2011 Becoming a Buddha

2010 was the year of the spider.
What did you create?
What web did you weave?
What repairs did you make?

It is New Years Eve; another year behind us. The time has come for me to again sit at my desk and tell a tale of the year to come. This tradition began 4 years ago. There is nothing left of the woman I was then. Tired, overworked, disconnected, heavy.

I was longing to break free, to feel light, to become my Self.
Collapse, Destruction, Disintegration, Death, Disillusion, Separation, Loss, Sickness...

Empowerment, Re-construction, Re-integration, Life, Consciousness, Connection, Joy, Health...

And then came silence.
Peace, Meditation, Awakening, Creation, Grace...
Transformation.
Understanding.
Trust.
I was re-born. Re-built. Crystallized.

But, Silence alone will not make you a Buddha.

The mind is often quiet when sitting in mudra, gaze softened and consciousness half asleep.
To experience silence in a crowded tavern full of temptations as tall as a man or as small as a shot of bourbon...that is not a silence that can be practiced.

You must become innocent and learn not to choose.

A tantric philosophy; "What is here is everywhere. What is not here is nowhere." To understand that we are One. To be free of divisions, separation - no limits, no boundaries.

When you know that you are the Self...there is no need for choices.

The Buddha harms no one.

Intention, Compassion, Truth, Light, Healing, Understanding, Consciousness.

There is no easy path to Truth.
One cannot learn it by rote.
Its way cannot be forced.

There is nothing more to do.
Drop everything.
Desires. Drop them.
Needs. Drop them.
Thoughts...drop.

Take your longings, wants, hunger...harness it.
Hold it.
And release it.
Do not choose it. Do not question it.
Do not forgive it. Do not carry its guilt.
Do not feel remorse. Do not deny it.
Do nothing.

There is no easy path to Truth.
It cannot be found in the physical world
for permanence is a dream
from which the Buddhas have awakened.

Four years later...

I have loved and lost.
I have been disappointed.
I have been surprised.
I have been inspired.
I have inspired myself.
I have been conflicted.
I have had friendships take too much
and relationships give too little.
I have embraced my sexuality.
I remembered myself.
I have learned to be patient.
I have learned how to trust.
My greatest defeats became my greatest lessons.
The more I reached; the less I got.
I re-connected.
I found hope.
I've experienced success, pride, teamwork and achieved the difficult with the help of others.
I learned to be alone.
I've stared temptation in the face...and lips...
and have said no...and yes...
I've prayed...

and prayed...

and prayed...

You say; what about 2011?
First, ask yourself again;
"What have I created?"

2011 is what you want it to be.
2011 is what you want.
2011 is.
We will laugh.
We will cry.
We will climb a mountain...or 2 or 3.
We will go somewhere we have never been.
We will fall in love.
We will meditate...again.
We will ask questions.
We will find our own answers.
We will re-connect with our soul mate and see them as if for the first time.
We will find our teachers.

It will not be easy.
It will not be downhill.
It will not feel comfortable.

But...

It will be fantastic.
It will be unexpected.
It will bring you joy.
Your Buddha will be born.